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5 Ways to Be The Woman He Wants to Marry

It is relatively easy to be your best self in the very beginning of a relationship, but as time goes on it’s normal to become more comfortable and stop trying as hard. When you want to be the woman a man wants to marry, there are a few qualities you definitely want to possess.

Here are five of the qualities that will make the man you are dating want to marry you:

1. Do not let yourself go

 

Whether you have been dating for nine months or nine years, you do not want to let yourself go because you’ve become comfortable in your relationship It’s important that you work to keep yourself active, healthy, and looking good. You don’t want to stop trying once you have the man and relationship you want. Dressing up and trying to seduce your man isn’t just for the beginning of a relationship. Putting, and keeping, your best foot forward in all areas is a good way to get him to want to marry you.

2. Be ambitious

Men find ambition attractive. If you are hoping to find a man that will support you so that you do not have to work, you might have trouble finding a man who is eager to marry you. It is important to find what you love to do in life.

When you know what you want and go after it with passion, you are more interesting and attractive to a man. You will show him that life with you will never be boring.

3. Be the woman he can count on

If you want to be the woman a man wants to marry, you should be the one person your boyfriend knows he can always count on. Relationships are about being there for each other through thick and thin. Life isn’t always rainbows and butterflies. If he knows you will be there when he loses his job, has a bad day, or is sick with the flu, you’ll be the kind of woman he will want to marry.

4. Put effort into the relationship

Showing that you are eager and willing to work on yourrelationship is a quality that will make a man want to marry you. Relationships can have ups and downs of course, so when you hit a rough patch, you want to show that you are going to stick around and work through things as a couple instead of running away at the first sign of trouble. Putting effort into the relationship also includes things like spending quality time together and being willing to compromise on activities.

5. Express negative feelings in a healthy way

Being overly jealous, intensely angry or chronically sad are not attractive qualities. You can express negative feelings in a healthy way. It is perfectly fine to be jealous or angry when another woman is giving your boyfriend attention. It will let him know that you still care and know it is possible to lose him. Bad jealousy is the kind that is controlling and clingy and a big turn-off.

No person will enjoy being screamed at or having to walk on eggshells around you.  Also, if you are constantly a downer, even friends and family will start to avoid you as well as a boyfriend. Having negative emotions are completely normal but must be expressed from a place of vulnerability to achieve the best response from your significant other.

If you want to be the woman your boyfriend proposes to, you should always put forth your best self. You also want to continue being your best self as consistently as possible regardless of how long you have been dating. Most importantly, this should continue through the engagement period and marriage

Will marriage change how your boyfriend feels about you? Cosmopolitan.com asked five guys how their relationships really changed after they tied the knot. Here’s what they had to say.

1. “We had already been living together for three years, and the first few months of living together tested and changed the relationship far more than getting married did. I think there was a brief period of “We’re married!” bonus sex and we opened a joint bank account finally after a year. I don’t know if it made the relationship more romantic, exactly. It definitely added something though. It takes any sense of uncertainty out the relationship. I love being able to look over sometimes and just think, ‘That girl right there is my wife. How crazy is that.'” —Matt, 26

2. “It’s been a nice transition! It was weird to say ‘husband’ and ‘wife’ to each other at first and we never referred to each other as fiancé and fiancée. Getting married was for us always a reinforcement of our dynamic so we have been about as romantic as we were before. We talk big-picture a lot more often now — finances, where we want to settle down, and what we want to get done.  At the same time, we’re more mindful of having lives that are distinct from each other’s. I still feel like I’m discovering new things about her.” —Devon, 30

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3. “I know everyone says it doesn’t feel any different, but I don’t think that’s true. There’s totally a little spark there, like, ‘Oh, we’re married!’ It’s like when you first start dating, kind of. Even though I don’t think our relationship changed, it was still really fun introducing her as my wife, or saying ‘Mr. and Mrs.’ This is so dumb, but we went to a friend’s wedding a few months after we got married, and our place setting had us listed that way … as Mr. and Mrs. X, and I kept it.” —Max, 28

4. “I feel like this really isn’t the norm anymore, but we didn’t live together before we got married, so things changed a lot. We definitely had the honeymoon phase, but we were also learning about some of our habits. Like, I knew my wife could be messy and wasn’t a morning person, but it’s different dealing with that daily. It’s not bad or anything, but you’re talking things out and figuring things out and compromising a lot those first few months.” —Drew, 26

5. “We decided to move about a week after we got back from our honeymoon. That was a really dumb decision. The honeymoon was amazing. It was romantic, sexy, all the stuff you’d expect. And then we had to come back and pack up all our stuff and plan a move. It sucked the sexiness out of it. Now that we’re settled in, though, things are great. I don’t think much has changed except for the fact that big life talks don’t really scare me anymore. Like, when my wife brings up kids, or buying a house or something. I used to be like, ‘What? Kids? Do we need to talk about it right now?’ And now I’m like, ‘Kids. Yeah. We’re married, so we should probably talk about that.’” —Chris, 28

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the 14 best moment in every relationship

1. The first time you hang out one-on-one (and yes, Netflixing counts). Nothing is more exciting than letting out all your pent-up crush energy on a first date. It’s almost as big a deal as your potential wedding day in terms of stories you’ll have to tell over and over. PRO TIP: Don’t bring up potential weddings on the first date.

2. That first awkward, nervous pause right before your first kiss. Your first kiss says, “I like hanging out with you, but I also want to make out with you all the time. Let’s take this to the next level.”

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3. The first time you bone. Well, hopefully your first time was a great moment. And if not, you’re a very selfless person for sticking with them.

4. The first time you stay the night instead of abruptly peacing-out like Cinderella the second it hits 2 a.m. Especially if you usually run off into the night immediately after coitus. Well, maybe hobble into the night while trying to put on your pants is a more apt description. My point is, your first sleepover is a big deal.

5. When you did nothing in bed together and it was amazing. The first time you do this, it’s cute and romantic. The 90th time you do this, you’re codependent agoraphobics. But when you can literally spend all day sharing a tiny square together and doing nothing else, you’ve got something good going.

6. The moment you realize their family could also be your family (and you’re OK with that). Some people have stupid families. So it’s a relief when you meet your partner’s and you actually feel at home. Getting along with their family instead of feeling awkward and intimidated is great.

7. When picking your partner up at the airport felt like the best moment in the world. Spending time apart (however long) is rough, but getting to see each other again makes it all worth it. All right, maybe it would’ve been better to not be apart in the first place.

8. Buying a second toothbrush to keep at their house. You’re basically saying, “I’m coming over whenever I want so you can never cheat on me.” But also, you know, that you love spending time together.

9. When you had an insane fight, but you knew you never wanted to break up. At first glance, this might not seem like this should be labeled a “best moment.” But it’s fights like these that make you realize you really want to try to make this relationship work. Also, yo, makeup sex.

10. When you accidentally blurted out “I love you” and waited to hear them say it back. In the history of mankind, no two people have ever said “I love you” and then not fumbled through a conversation afterward. Your first declaration of love is always followed by an “I mean…” while you stare at your partner and hope they say it back before you punch out the nearest window and cut your jugular with a shard of glass.

11. When you went on a couples vacation that still feels like one of the high points of your relationship. Even if it’s just an overnight trip, it beats the family trip you took to the Grand Canyon with your parents a few years ago.

12. Getting a dog and realizing you are successfully raising a living thing together. Week 1: It’s not dead yet! Week 2: Still living! Week 3: We’re a family now: me, you, and Muffins. Just us for the next decade or so.

13. When you powered through the hard times together, and they seemed a little less hard with your partner by your side. Maybe you lost your job or a family member, or had to get a pretty serious surgery. It might not have been so great, but you were there for each other.

14. Any time you really, truly, just have a day to yourselves. These don’t come often enough, and when they do, it feels like the best day ever.

Sign Me, Bemused

Way back in graduate school I wrote a paper on the misuse of forte. It means a person’s strong suit when pronounced “fort” but refers to a loud musical passage when pronounced as its spelling indicates, for-tey. Or once it did. The distinction has almost been lost partly because people who knew better began mispronouncing forte to fit in. Which I think is what interested me, that cognitive dissonance. Everyone wants to belong, to be admired by her or his chosen group. So I was upset when I realized recently that I’d misused the word “bemused” several times in my book, Shepherd: A Memoir. The memorable one to me involves our ewe Big Mama and her sardonic attitude toward me. I said she was bemused by me. But bemused does not mean “extra amused”; it means bewildered or confused; a secondary meaning is lost in thought. The word is so rampantly misused that its meaning may be changing. And even when used correctly, its meaning often is unclear. Here’s Mary Karr, describing her father as her storytelling model, in The Art of Memoir: “He had a talent for physical detail and a bemused attention to the human comedy.” Karr is a best-selling memoirist and a respected poet, so we must assume she’s using the word correctly here. Or must we? I think so. Yet Karr intends praise, and it’s more flattering to her father to picture him as amused by the human comedy than confused by it. Maybe he’s just a bit puzzled like everyone else in this comedy of errors we call life. You can see the lack of clarity flowing from this slippery word.

Source: Sign Me, Bemused